Let the games begin
by AirborneGirl
Summary: So they did it...should they have? Jess worries. Rory fights. A titan fight. Which one will winn?
1. Default Chapter

**Author's note:**

Hello to all of you who take time to read this. This is my third story out here. It's a Literati (what else is new) and doens't contain any spoilers. Just something I wrote some time ago, and now I'm sufficiently encouraged by the success of my other stories to upload this one as well. Hope you enjoy! Reviews are welcome!

**Let the games begin.**

_Jess' POV_

"Jess," she mumbles softly in her sleep and I can't help but smile and cry at the same time. All of pure happiness. Here she is, my precious angel, curled up in my arms. I can't believe it and my guess is I never will. But it happened, just now. It happened, we happened. To get together, for real.

She asked me how I felt, right after we lost ourselves into each other. But I couldn't answer. Couldn't find the words, wasn't able to form coherent sentences in my own mind. Now that everything turns quiet, except for her regular breathing next to me, I might be able to explain how I feel.

I feel…nope, I was wrong. I can't explain. Us normal human beings have never been granted enough words in our vocabulary to describe this. Words that exceed 'wonderful', 'fantastic', 'amazing' and other words that just don't cut it. Not with her, with my Rory.

I can't even say she exceeded every expectation I had for our first night together, for I never allowed myself to have any expectations at all. Not when it comes to love, anyway. Or making love. Which I had never done before. I mean, sure I had sex. More than my fair share, if I'm totally honest. But love? The one word that turns it all upside down? Nope, never before. The difference you ask? Simple, that one I can explain: Sex is what you end up with when you're looking for love in the wrong places. Sex is what's supposed to keep you satisfied until you find that love. And the sad part is that most of us never do find it, even if they think they already have. The glorious part: I did.

So since this is all new to me, I have no idea as to how I'm supposed to feel. It's so much more…just so much MORE.

Rory stirs in my arms and moans softly. A magnificent sound. Just now, hearing her moan, cry, plead, it was enough to drive me over the edge. Knowing she felt pleasure beyond her grasp, knowing it was me, my hands, my lips that produced this unknown new feelings deep inside her body…I guess I've never felt more proud of anything I have done. Or more guilty.

Sleep still doesn't come to claim me, but frankly, I'm glad of it. For my time with her is precious, too precious to waste away. Because it's also limited. I can feel it, even if I'm not quite ready to admit it. I mean, let's get real here: how many times can one person get blessed in his life? I've been blessed tonight in a way I never figured possible for me. Therefore, I feel I've already taken more of my fair share than I ever deserved. And I certainly never deserved her, even if she still thinks the opposite.

So, with or without her denial, I know the time will come, soon enough, that she'll see me for who I am. When it comes, she'll realize she's been wasting her time with me. That she can do much better, with a guy who's both capable and willing to love her the way she deserves to be loved. That guy simply isn't me. She doesn't need to worry, I'll be gone way before that'll happen.

Beauty is wasted on me, it always was. Not because I didn't like it, but because I didn't think it was there for me. I was the kind of kid who could spend his entire afternoon at the mall, taking in the beautiful things they offered anyone but me. Toys, books, even candy I could never afford. The only thing I could afford was to look. Look and dream, knowing at the same time that there was simply no way I could let them come true. And that I should never try; I didn't do anything to deserve it.

So I don't deserve Rory. I feel like I finally stepped into such a wonderful luxurious store and simply took the priced piece of the collection. Just took it. Abused it. And like candy, once you've eaten it, you can't put it back, but you can't have any more either. Still, the taste will linger forever, making you crazy with want.

I'm crazy with want now. I know I could wake her, tell her, show her and she would willingly comply. I can't. Like I said, I had more than my share. So I know what to do.

For the first time in my conscious life I find myself crying openly when I slip from underneath the still warm, damp covers. Rory stirs again and her moan sounds disappointed when her search for human warmth remains un rewarded. Thank the Lord she doesn't wake up. I can't answer her question when she asks it. She wouldn't understand. I don't understand. I just know.

As silently as possible I get dressed. Carefully I open her window and slide out of it. Before I close I steal one more glance at her sleeping form, drinking in her beauty for the very last time. She smiles. 'I'm sorry," I hear myself mumble, before I disappear into the night like the thief I am.

Like? Don't like? Hate? Continue? Don't continue? All up to you...


	2. Part II

**Author's note**: Wow, I'm fast with updating! But since my mostly positive reviews, I feel I should. But first, some answers to questions in the reviews:

to **sarahl**: About Jess being religious? I have no idea if that's possible. Indeed I am religious myself (a little) but I honestly wasn't thinking about that when I wrote it. My guess just was that even non-religious people sometimes refer to words as "blessed" every now and then. Hope you can live with it. Besides, I can take some constructive critisism and yours wasn't a bad review.

to **smile1**: Thank you for reviewing all 3 of my stories so far and encouraging me to continue. I like your stories too. And this story will be written alternately in Jess's and Rory's POV to show you their rather opposite opinions.

to **sarah**: Don't worry, Jess won't be leaving Stars Hollow. It wouldn't work with the storyline I have planned out. And Jess is way too cute to be bad guy all the time :-).

Thank you to my other reviewers for your encouragement!

**Disclaimer**: Oops, forgot to mention this the first chapter. But you honestly didn't think I owned them did you? Would I have let Jess leave? Think, people!

Let's get this story on the road then...

_Rory's POV_

He thinks I'm sleeping, it's just the way I want it to be. But honestly, how can I sleep when I've just had the most amazing experience of my whole life? It's strange, I mean, you read about it, you dream about it, you fantasize about it with your friends, but nothing could have prepared me for what I felt just now. What I still feel.

People may think I'm nuts, to be overwhelmingly and wholeheartedly in love with a guy like Jess, but I guess it's something you can't protect yourself from. When love like this happens, it hits you hard and without remorse. I was in too deep by the time the warnings came in.

When they ask me and I know they will, then I'll tell them I'm not sorry this happened. I can't be. Never. This was too wonderful to be wrong. That's just their opinion.

I shift myself into a more comfortable position, relishing his smell, his warmth, his being. I know he loves me more than he can ever say. I don't expect him to say it, I don't need words. His deeds tonight, his gentle, almost shy caresses, his lips, his silent pleading for consent for every step our lovemaking took, showed me how much he loves me. And how afraid he is of it.

One more thing he'll never tell, but I know anyway. He's afraid. Scared to death by the thought someone could love him. That someone would pierce through his walls and see the boy inside. That someone would see his value and rescue him from his self-built prison. I do see it, I know I'm the only one who can. It's my job. My destination maybe even.

People will definitely think I'm crazy now. I'm not. I just know him too well. I can predict now that he won't stay with me to wake up in my arms in the morning. Within now and the next hour, he will slip away, dress himself and get out of here as if the FBI are hunting him down. His thoughts will be guilt ridden, as he thinks he has somehow tainted me, spoiled my beauty. He doesn't think he deserves me, or to even breath the same air. And he'll think I'll regret this night and blame him for the fact it happened.

So tomorrow and probably a few days after he'll shy away from me, avoid my eyes. But I'll feel his eyes watching me, full of the want and need we both know is there, the want and need he'll never surrender to again. Because he has to be the strong one. Not to contaminate me even more.

It's bullshit. Whatever he thinks, it's a bunch of crap. He's worth more than ten Deans put together. His IQ is more than all Stars Hollow graduates added up. His heart is stronger and lovelier than…anything. I love him. I know he loves me. And he doesn't have to be the strong one. I will. But not to hold off our love. To maintain it, to let it blossom until Jess Mariano finally accepts he has nowhere to run. It'll be a titan fight, but I have to win.

He stirs, gets out of bed, struggles to get dressed and leaves me, like I predicted he would. He's crying, a sound that ripples through my heart like an electric bolt. I restrain myself with much difficulty from getting up and putting my arms around his heaving shoulders. A soft moan of sudden disappointment escapes me before I can hold it back. But as much as I hate to be right at this point, I smile to myself. Run as far away as you can, my love. You can never run far enough. I'll win you over. I know I will.

Ladies and gentlemen, let the games begin…

So...Good? Bad? Ugly? Continue? You decide, you know how. (_Review_)


	3. Part III

**Author's note**: Here's another update for you all to enjoy (I hope) Let me know what you think.

**Dislaimer**: Don't own them.

_Jess' POV_

Damn Luke! I tried my hardest to convince him I wasn't feeling peachy (which I'm truly not, how could I be after last night?), but he insisted I came down to help him with breakfast rush. There's no way I can tell him why. Why I can't stand being downstairs, vulnerable to the eyes of Stars Hollow. Even more so to the eyes of the girl I love more than life itself. The girl I walked out on last night.

The only consolation I have is the fact she probably won't show up in here for the next few days. She'll find some excuse to convince her mom to go to Al's instead. Something other than the fact I'm not her favorite person by far at the moment.

Now that I'm downstairs taking orders, I'm actually glad he made me come and help him. It keeps my mind off of the situation. Last night, when I crawled underneath my own sheets I had to stuff the corner of the upper sheet into my mouth to prevent myself from screaming out in agony. I'm such an idiot! Not for leaving her, in fact, that was the only wise decision I managed to make. But I am an idiot for allowing myself to get too close to the flame. Now I know what it feels like to be burnt alive.

One person in history once came up with the o so cute line 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' That, people, is bullshit. Because now that I have loved and lost, the pain of longing is almost too much to bear. Even though losing her, or rather, letting her go, is my own choice. It would have been better to never have loved her. Boy, how I wish I could turn back time now.

She's here_. _One moment I'm refilling someone's empty coffee cup, the other moment she saunters to the counter. Hell, she's not even trying to avoid me. She's not even hiding out in the furthest corner, letting her mom take the order. She's right in front of me.

My hands are occupied with the coffeepot and a dishtowel, so there's no way I can avoid it when the most unthinkable happens. She walks around the counter, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me senseless! Needless to say I'm totally caught off guard. I expected a cold stare, I expected her not to show up, I expected her to cry or yell at me or whatever. I could understand questions, why did I leave her like that, I could understand her need for an explanation. Instead, she's all over me, like we're still best friends, still in love, like we were before I ruined it willingly.

Why? What's her plan? Or does she understand more than I think? Is she trying to convince me she's not mad at me? That she still wants me? Does she believe these were just temporary nerves I'm suffering from? Damn you Rory! Damn you with your second chances, your faith in someone who doesn't even appreciate it.

My hands almost betray me as I fight their urge to wrap themselves around her soft body. I close of my nostrils from her intoxicating scent. But I can't seem to manage to push her away either. So I'm left standing there, not being able to move, think, speak, act. She finishes her kiss and steps back. She grins at me, waves, blows a kiss at the door and leaves to catch her bus. And what do I do? I finish my morning shift in utter confusion and head back upstairs as soon as Luke tells me I can.

_Rory's POV_

Yes! I win. 1-0 for me. Jess, my love, my stupid, idiot love. I could tell just now he doesn't get it. Yet. He doesn't understand yet how perfect little Rory Gilmore will sweep him off his feet the same way he swept her off her feet the moment he casually walked into her life. I know it was gutsy, but I also anticipated on his un ability to turn me away when we're both awake.

He'll be wondering right now why I'm not mad at him, why I don't seem to be too overly interested in his reasons for leaving me. Maybe he'll realize someday that I know he won't leave at all. Not forever, anyway.

It still is the most confusing situation I've ever found myself involved in, but I'm not about to just let this 'situation' take over. I know what I want, or rather, who I want. I know he wants me too. He knows he wants me too. So in my Gilmore-logical mind when two people want each other and they both know they do, then there shouldn't be any situation holding them back.

So this one won't. Sorry Jess my love, the distance you're trying to create between us will not have the desired effect. I'll close whatever gap you leave, with all means available, until you do understand that I don't want, don't need to be protected from you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have to attend school right now. But the fight will continue, don't worry.

RRRRREEEEEEEEEVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEWWWW! _Review, please_?


	4. Part IV Last chapter

**Author's note: **This will be the last chapter of this story. For those of you who miss dialogue between Rory and Jess: I chose not to include any because it's not my sprongest point and let's get real: It's not theirs either. Let's just see how far they'll get without using words...trust me.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own them, maybe just in my dreams...

_Jess' POV_

Normally right now we would meet at the bus stop and head for the bridge. We would tell each other about our day, we would eat the food I brought, we would read or make out, we would bicker over different points of view…we would be Jess and Rory, madly in love.

I wish with all my heart things would have remained this easy. I wish more than last night that I can turn back time and take one or two or a dozen more cold showers before going to her, knowing her mom wasn't home.

So now I won't meet her at the bus stop. She can act all lovey-dovey and normal to me, but I won't play that game. I still think I should let our hormones calm down until we might reach a normal point of friendship again. And I still think that if we can't, I should leave this godforsaken place and head back to New York, tail between my legs, where it should have stayed in the first place, if you get my drift.

So I remain upstairs in my room, Metallica at the background, A Farewell to Arms in my hands. Maybe, if I concentrate hard enough I might actually get some reading done.

Again, she comes to disturb me. In reality as opposed to only in my dreams. Luke must have told her I was up here and since he doesn't know anything about last night (if he did, I would have missed some vital male organs by now), he let her come upstairs.

This time, I try to brace myself more for her ruthless strategy by not looking up from my book. I expect, or rather hope, she'll be taken aback by my attitude. I hope she'll get mad enough to see me for the punk I am and leave me. So we can get this over with, rather than stretch this painful experience even more.

Again, she blows all my hopes into the wind. She doesn't say one word. She sits next to me and gently but determinedly takes my book from my hands. She holds my now restless empty hands in hers and brings them to her soft lips. Gently, disturbingly sexy, she kisses my fingertips one by one. I'm powerless to her intoxicating touch. Not one nerve in me is signaling to my muscles to start moving away from her, maintain the distance. She smiles, still not uttering one word. She simply moves up her lips and kisses my collarbone, my earlobe, my temple. My eyelids. I start crying. From out of nowhere these tears have come to betray me. I never cry! I don't! It's not me. But surely there's this clear liquid coming from me eyes.

Rory kisses my lips and they too, surrender. I can feel myself surrender, piece by piece. My arms wrap themselves around her tiny waist, my legs get strangled with hers, my lips taste my own falling tears, my tongue demands access to the humid warmth of her mouth. She lets me in, her own arms strong but lean, her hands tugging at the waistband of my shirt, as my hands mirror hers…damn you Rory!

_Rory's POV_

This is good, this feels right. Me and him, literally wrapped up in each other. No matter how hard his mind denies it, his heart feels it as I can feel his body disobey him. I know it might seem cruel, but I want him to realize that listening to his heart won't kill him. Won't kill me either. He can surrender himself to our love time and again and both of us will stay intact. Not despite of it, but because of it.

My lovely fool. Just surrender, just take me, take what I'm offering. From myself, Jess. No other reason than the fact that I love you. That you love me. There's nothing wrong with us being together. You are worthy of love, my love. If I wasn't convinced of that, do you think I would have given it to you? Do you? If I'm such a wonderful treasure, like you say I am, wouldn't I stay away from anyone not worthy? Don't you think I'm smart enough to see the difference? I know the one who is honest enough, sweet enough, smart enough...even though he's not smart enough to realize it himself. To trust his own feelings. So if you don't Jess, then please trust me, trust us. We belong, damn you. I know you can feel it. If only your stubborn mind would listen to your heart. Give up the fight Jess, just surrender.

_Jess' POV_

And again, I fail. Again, my determination falls the minute things get heated. People who say men think with certain organs below their belt, are absolutely right, as I've proved yet again. Right now, I honestly don't know right from left, up from down. To state that I'm confused is an understatement if I ever heard one. She's not. Rory's not confused. She lies next to me, all her naked beauty still uncovered, a smile on her face. For one second I allow myself to smirk. Apparently even in my worst state of confusion I can still be in my best state of arousal. Hurray for me.

What I absolutely don't understand is the why. Why does she cling on me like this? Why can't she simply accept and let go?

Because she doesn't want to. It hits me like a ton of bricks. The purpose of her little game is simple: the true opposite of mine. She wants me to acknowledge that I can't live without her, as my heart already knows.

She has power over me and she knows how to use it. Since when, Rory Gilmore, am I losing a game of love to you? I know that answer as well. I never stood a chance in hell.

So I turn to her. I look into her eyes and I can't help but smile. Very well then. I surrender. Take my heart, my love, my life. You'll take care of me. And someday, as long as I have your support, I will become the man you're convinced is inside of me. With your help, I'll find him. Victory is yours. And boy, do you know how to take it!

_Rory's POV_

Sinking in now, my dear? It certainly seems like you're catching on. And no, mister I'm-in-control-of-my-emotions, there's no way you can hide your priceless expression. Which at the moment holds utter confusion, slow realization and, admit it, pure bliss. We do fit so well together and you taught me so well, don't you agree? You'd die first way before you admit it, won't you?

You turn to face me, I mean, really face me, for the first time since you left the warmth of my bed. And I can't hide the feelings of relief as I see the confusion disappear to be replaced by the warmth of your love. The smirk you give me is your white flag of surrender.

You kiss me with soft, pleading lips. You utter the three little words I have been waiting to hear (Yes, I know I said I didn't need to hear them, but…I'm just human, so I lied about that). And I know you mean them. I mean them too, so I answer with the same words before I hug you to me. I love you, Jess, and you know you don't have to be afraid. Because I'll never see what you see: I only see the remarkable boy you are, the amazing man you will become. And when you do, I want to be the woman next to you. Correction: I will be the woman right next to you. Forever, Jess Mariano. Game set and math to Rory Gilmore!

SO???????? Any good????????Let me know, please!!!!


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